Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Random Girl is Not Dead or in Jail

Wow, it's been a REALLY long time     since I've posted anything. A big part of the reason for that has been due to my lack of a decent internet connection. Another big part is because I never seem to be able to get away from Bobby long enough to get online. He is controlling and demanding of my attention and needy and I'm sick of him. But I've gotten myself into one hell of a mess by EVER hooking up with that man.... More on that later though.
   I definitely want to say thank you to all the awesome readers who've been emailing and commenting to ask if I'm ok and to give me feedback on this blog. How crazy that anyone but me actually reads this. But I'm glad. And to those of you who ask me a question via email and then don't hear back from me for a week - I'm SORRY! Eventually I'm going to start actively getting back online on a daily basis again but for now sometimes I go 3, 4, 5 days - sometimes a week or more even - before I bring my laptop somewhere that I'm able to mooch and internet connection.
For instance, right now I just finished closing up at the bar where I work, and I'm trying to hurry and just enter this blog real quick because I know that Bobby is already super-pissed at me for taking so damn long and he's already stopped by to see how much longer I'll be 3 times in the last couple of hours.

   Anyway, on that note I've really got to cut out because there's already going to be a fight when see him again and the later I am the worse it will probably be. For anyone who cares, I'll go into more detail about all that (as well as other stuff) hopefully within the next day or two here.

My Annoying New Habit
    Before I go I want to mention one last thing - mostly just because it's freaking annoying and it's bothering the crap out of me: Over the last week or so I've developed this really annoying habit of trying to get stuff out of my teeth that isn't even there. It always seems to feel as if I've just finished eating a bag of doritos or something and so I'm picking and sucking at my teeth with my tongue. (Mouth closed though at least)
I am doing this CONSTANTLY and doing it sometimes to the point where my tongue is sore at the end of the day. I try flossing a lot and brushing and those will help but only for a minute or two and then I find myself doing it again. It's REALLY stupid and tweakerish and I HATE doing it because I know if/when people see me doing that with my mouth all of the time that they're going to think (correctly) that I'm "one of those goddamn tweakers." I don't know exactly why I felt the need to write about it, but I'm TRYING to not do that and has anyone else experienced this or something similar? Ok. I'm out.


Unknown said...

Ah, Random Girl,
Glad to see you are still among the living. Im new to your blog but share a similar life, minus Bobby that is. I left a comment on your last post before this one.
As for the new annoying habit, you are not alone. I also pick and suck at my teeth like there is some permanantly stuck shit stuck in ALL my teeth, but theres not. I used to chew on ice, which is an annoying habit too, at least for those around me lol. Had to quit that though, was REALLY bad on my teeth.
Hope you keep on with your blog, its helpful to know that we are not alone. I mean that its good to know that there is someone else out there that lives with this addiction and accepts it for what it is, and continues on in this world.
Thanks for being for being for real, even when it seems like, sometimes, everything and everyone else is fake.

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you are back. I found your blog last week and I read the entire thing in one afternoon. I made a few comments on some of your entries. I am now considering starting my own blog but not sure that I'll keep up with it. Still debating?! So what happened with your warrant and pending charges? Just kinda curious. As far as the teeth thing... have you tried maybe chewing gum or sucking on a mint or something? It may help? Just a thought. Anyway, I am glad to see everything is okay with you and there is a new entry and I look forward to more. I hope you are able to free yourself from Bobby soon... I have been in your situation but mine was not only jealous and controlling but extremely abusive and it was VERY hard to break free of him but I FINALLY did it and I know how difficult it is. Good luck with that.

Anonymous said...

Random Girl, your blog saddens me. The only thing meth does is turn people into selfish creatures that live a blurred existence. If you do get out of the addiction, you will grow and sadly look back at the time you wasted, the money you wasted, the health you wasted... I don't know your upbringing or where you're from, but I hope you succeed in life eventually. Because right now, honey, you're living an incredibly pathetic existence.

I'm not being rude either, I'm speaking through the pain of my own memories and regrets. If you ever want to talk to someone who ISN'T an addict, please reply and let me know. If not, good luck with your life.

Amyqotd said...

Hope you'll be back soon for an update. Bobby sounds like a real winner *snark*. I hope whatever needs to happen for you to move on either has or does soon. I'm really enjoying your blog, although enjoy is really not the word I'm looking for. I was never a tweaker, more of a garbage disposal addict but regardless of the differences, there are a lot of similarities.

Carrion Doll said...

Happy to see you posted something,lol. This is Marisa that friended you on FB. Anyhoo, please post again soon. Like I have room to talk I barely get around to mine every couple months. Glad to see your ok tho.

ibnatasha2u said...

Random Girl, It's me, the one who posted on 9/26 at the top...Since that post my husband and I were violated by DOC and sent to inpatient treatment at ABHS. We now are aprox 60 plus days clean....Nothing like forced recovery!
We are off paper next August, so when that day gets here that will be the test to see if treatment works. :/ To be totally honest, I miss my old friend Meth. Whether or not I want it back in my life is yet to be seen.
I will continue to watch your blog to see if you post again. I wish you the best.
Hope you have a happy holliday.

Katherine Denise Lehmkuhl-Leavitt said...

i have been a prisoner of meth for 45 yrs its all bad

Anonymous said...

just found your sight..looking for ways to passs drug test for my gall bladder surgery..i have so many family members at that hospital..including head of surgery being my aunt..uuugghhh anyway I know this post is old but I tweak on my nose..like theres always some more hard boogers up ther I use q tips till my nose starts bleeding...terrible habit..

Anonymous said...

Well I just came across your blog, and I think its cool that there are others out there, that can be open about their addiction like I am. I have been an addict for 11 years, and I'm still actively using, I like the way meth makes me feel, I dont use any other drug, only meth. I however do have a full time job, and work everyday, and I am able to get high and function as a normal person in society. My problem is that my husband is also an addict, and can get high and maintain a job too, but only for a short period of time, then its back to the hustleing lifestyle for him. I haven't had to worry about that though for the past 18 months, he has been in prison, well he is fixing to get out, and he doesn't want to use when he gets home, knowing I've been using this whole time. I hide nothing from him, which makes him coming home kind of complicated for me. I'm not ready to quit, do to the fact that I can get high and maintain a normal lifestyle. I dont want to hide getting high from my husband once he is home, and I don't want him to twist off and go back to the hustleing lifestyle, but most importantly I dont want to give him and my 3 beautiful boys, (my family) and 7 year marriage up. Is there a compromise/solution, plz if anyone has any advise, plz share.