Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Whole Lot Of Uninteresting Events, But Foo Fighters Were Cool

Has it been so long?
Wow - has it  really been over a month since I last posted?  I guess so.  I guess I've been spending a little too much time gambling online, which I must admit, I'm finally getting sick of...... I think.   Anyway, I went to see the Foo Fighters down in Phoenix a couple days ago.  That was fucking fantastic!! They are an awesome band and put on a REALLY good show.
   It was  a LITTLE bit weird, because I went with my best friend of 25 years who doesn't do meth or anything anymore.  So I'd decided ahead of time that I wasn't going to bring any with me to Phoenix to do either.  I didn't want to taint what was to be an awesome show with the constant chasing around of my high.  And I didn't want her to notice (which I'm afraid she probably would've if I'd been all tweaked out.)
   The Foo Fighters were INCREDIBLY AWESOME!  Even not being high, I had a fucking awesome time!  She and I were SO close to the stage - probably only about 15 ft  (about 4.57 meters) away from the stage.  And I have such a HUGE crush on David Grohl, (the lead singer who USED to be the drummer for Nirvana.) I haven't been to a concert in over 10 years.  The last concert I went to was back in 2000 (I think?) to see this group called Bauhaus.  (Old 80's goth band) And they were having some sort of resurrection tour.  But when I saw them it was different because nobody I knew even had heard of them.  But THIS was different - it was SO strange and cool to be SO closed to these people who are so famous... And to see them in person as opposed to just on TV!!!
    So that was the GREAT part of my week!  Everything else has, unfortunately sucked.

The Shit That Sucked:

1.) Suspicions at Work -    So sometime last week, my manager Kimberly started a conversation with me that basically went something like "So - I don't want to get you all worried or anything, but there's been some talk lately of people maybe wondering if you're back on drugs.....(blah blah blah etc)"....
   OH SHIT!! and What the fuck?!!! I'm not a spaz at work, in fact, I like to THINK that I actually do pretty good.  However, Kimberly also used to be a tweaker.  And when I say "used to be" it's REALLY STRANGE because I swear to freaking God I've been wondering lately if maybe SHE was back on shit.  Especially considering that her house just got raided about a month ago because they thought her and her fiance' were running a meth lab.  (They didn't find anything though apparently except for a bag of weed.)
   So it REALLY took ME by surprise when I've been kind of looking at her thinking SHE'S been acting kind of strange and then all of the sudden she mentions MY behavior to ME!!

So, stepping back I try to look at my behavior objectively and I think the main thing she mentioned which I totally see is the fact that I've started being late ALL THE TIME.... when I first started there I was always either early or right on time... and I guess people have noticed....

  So that totally freaked me out.  And I had to have a one-on-one talk later that evening with my boss (the general manager) during which I told him that Kimberly and I had this talk and I told him that should this suspicion be floating around then I was more than happy to take a random UA (pee test) to prove my innocence.... This is something (I told him and her) that while not totally ideal for me was also not totally an unreasonable request considering my past and my history.
Meanwhile I'm sitting here thinking about all of the baking soda I'll have to drink in order to test clean if they should actually want me to.  Yech!!!!

2.) Bad Bad News -  So the  other major thing that really sucked this week was while I was down in Phoenix I got some bad news from an old friend of mine.  (Ok, when I say "old friend" I actually mean Guy-who-I-was-totally-in-love-with-who-put-me-through-the-wringer-for-a-year-emotionally-and-who-I-knew-would-have-dope.)  Well, I went through a LOT of trouble to track this guy Gary down, since the last thing I'd done concerning him was to delete his number and all my messages and call history from my phone so that I couldn't break down and call or text him again.  We got together and talked (smoked a couple bowls) and while we talked he revealed to me that our friend Brittany, who was this sweet and trusting girl - just turned 24 - was found murdered a few months ago. They found her body out by some rural freeway is what he told me... although later when I tried to find out anything on line I only found a very brief and uninformative obituary.

This really blew me away.  She and I weren't best friends or anything, but we were good enough friends that I'd stayed over at her house numerous times and that she knew all about my Gary affliction.... She was just one of those kind and trusting girls - who gave most people the benefit of the doubt - and apparently that was her downfall.
   I've cried.  I've been angry.  But most of all I've been disappointed in the human race in general; that someone somewhere somehow took advantage of her kind and perhaps too-trusting nature.  She was not unlike myself at that age...

3.) Lost it - literally -  The OTHER thing that sucked this week, was that after the Foo Fighters concert, my friend and I hopped on the Light Rail (It's this new public transportation system in Phoenix, Arizona) but about 10 seconds after having jumped on it, we realized it was the wrong one - it was going the wrong direction and was closing down for the night.  So at the last second we hopped off real quick - although in such a hurry to do so, I left my freaking purse on the damn thing.  Had ALL my makeup in it, as well as $65 and my ID.... So that really screwed me.  I didn't have any money to get back to my home with - and ended up missing a shift at work, as well as having to be stuck down in super-hot Phoenix with no money for 2 days longer than I wanted.

So that's pretty much all - not a whole lot of exciting business to anyone else but me probably, but there it is.  I was SOOO happy to be able to meet up with Bruce today and get a 20 sack.  I was chomping at the bit for one by the time he got here!!!  Now it turns out that out of the remaining 3 rigs (needles) I had left to do some dope with, 3 of the damn things were clogged!!!    My luck has not exactly been fabulous lately - feels like I'm getting all sorts of bad karma or something.... but I don't really feel like I've done anything shady enough to deserve it??? Hmmm..... ok... on that note I'm out   :)


lilly said...

godd to see your back. have missed reading ur posts. ur like my twin in another country it seems. u seem to live life on and off at the same pace like me. xoxo lilly

Dixie County Spinner said...

Couldn't help but wonder after reading this post how effective your method of passing a UA is. I have tried everything from head shop cleansers, to drops of chlorine. Nothing has worked, and I mean NOTHING!! I have never heard of the baking soda thing, though I drink it regularly for acid re-flux when I'm out of meds. I Just wanted some input on the baking soda method. P.S. Sorry to hear about your friend and your purse!!