Loneliness Sneaks In The Back Door When I'm Not Looking

So - to kind of sum things up where I guess I left off in my last post, I was doing just fine (more or less) before all this random stuff happened with several different guys.  I was totally content to not really have a social life outside of work.  I know that sounds strange, but it's not.  My rationale has kind of been that I don't really want to meet or become involved with anyone at this point in my life.  I don't really feel like I'm living up to my full potential right now, and I'm 31 years old and live with my parents.  I have no license and no car.  I owe over $5,000 in various fines before I can get my license back.  And, oh yeah - there's this whole addiction thing that I've apparently returned to for the time being.
    Really if I was to meet a man who was in my situation I would probably think he was a little bit of a loser.  And if I'm completely honest with myself, I have to acknowledge that right now I'M sort of the loser.  So anyway, I know these things and I've been lucky enough (until recently) to not have feelings for anyone.  I was happy with my own company (and the company of my cat.)  I wasn't lonely or wishing I was in a relationship or that I had someone.  And I didn't have a crush on anyone and therefore didn't have to have someone in my head all the time and didn't have to spend countless hours wondering about Them, and whether or not They were thinking about me (etc.)
    After last month though, I find that I've changed.  Thankfully I'm not (yet) stuck on any one person or anything.  (Although I still occasionally think about #2 from my previous post and I sort of wonder what could have been or if something like that would've ever worked out if so many things had been different then they are.) But even though I'm not infatuated with anyone, I find suddenly that I feel lonely for the first time in a long time.  Maybe lonely isn't the right word - it's not like I don't like just being by myself - because I do.  I REALLY like to be able to have privacy.  However the past few days or week or so I find myself kind of wishing I had someone that songs on the radio made me think of; someone who I'd get all giddy thinking about lol....
    But I DON'T think that I really DO want that kind of relationship in my life right now... do I?  And where does meth fit in?  Because if I start seeing someone who doesn't do it - then most likely I will feel the need to hide it from them - which is dishonest and can ultimately end only in disaster.
But I don't really think it would be any better for me to end up in a relationship with someone else who does it too.  That would most likely only help to perpetuate my own addiction (as well as theirs) and only end up making it that much harder for me to let it go....