Beating/Passing The Drug Test

Disclaimer:  I in NO WAY am encouraging that anyone try this.  While it worked for me, the physical repercussions of ingesting such a large amount of sodium bicarbonate (baking soda) is most likely dangerous and could have harmful effects!  Attempt at your own risk!

That being said.....

What you will need to know:

  1. Ok, so first of all, this trick ONLY works for Crystal Meth. If you've been smoking pot this trick will ONLY clean out the meth and NOT the pot! I had a friend who tried and who pissed clean for meth but dirty for pot. As for any other drug I have no idea so just assume that it only works for meth.
  2. You'll need 2 and 1/2 hours before you have to test in order for this to work. I've personally continued to get high up to a few hours BEFORE starting the baking soda process so as far as I know you can continue to get high for pretty close to the time that you have to take the drug test. Of course what worked for me may not necessarily work for everyone... but whatever... it worked for me... EVERY time.
  3. This may make you nauseous. It works, but it's NOT PLEASANT! And by the time you're done, you will be - excuse me for being gross here - you'll basically be peeing out of your asshole. And I don't mean that you'll literally be urinating out of your asshole, but you'll have liquid coming out of both holes... yes it's that gross. (But it WORKS!!!)
  4. After you complete the baking soda process, as far as I know, you'll only have about 1.5 or 2 hour window in which to take your drug test and piss clean. After a couple hours, whatever it is that the baking soda does wears off and you'll pee dirty again.

The Process
So all you'll need is a box of baking soda, a spoon and water. You'll fill up a glass - just a typical glass - bigger than coffee cup but smaller than a pint glass - with water. Then add TWO teaspoons (I used a regular spoon and not a measuring spoon) of baking soda. They don't have to be heaping teaspoons, I always used perfectly leveled off teaspoons. Stir it and drink it down. It will taste really gross, but just suck it up. Then wait a half hour and repeat. Total, you will have to drink a total of 6 GLASSES of baking soda water. You will probably not feel so great... but it works.

If you want to make sure....
I had my doubts and was scared to death the first time I tried it but it WORKED!!! If you have doubts or are still uneasy or paranoid, I suggest you go to a grocery store or drug store and go to the pharmacy section, (I usually went to Walgreen's or CVS) and they have drug tests you can buy. In Arizona the one to test yourself at home for meth is about $20. 

   Sometimes when I was feeling really paranoid I would buy one on my way the probation office or TASC (the drug-testing facility) just so I could MAKE SURE and see for myself that it WAS in fact clean. Remember though if you DO buy one of these tests, MAKE SURE YOU KNOW HOW TO READ THE DAMN THING!!!

   USUALLY the test-at-home drug tests will show you a total of FOUR (4) lines if you're pissing clean; two lines on the left and two lines on the right.  The top lines are considered the "control" lines - they're the ones that should always be there no matter if you're clean or dirty.  Then the bottom two lines are the "test" lines.  If BOTH of the test lines show up on the bottom then it means you're negative (in other words, you're clean and don't need to worry.)  I realize it may seem counter intuitive because even to me it seems like it would make more sense for the 4th line NOT to show up if the drug was NOT found in your system, but THIS IS NOT THE CASE:

Example Of A Negative
(Clean) Drug Test

Example Of A Positive
(Dirty) Drug Test