Easy Come Way Too Easy Go
    Ok, so my financial freedom lasted me all of two days before I'd managed to spend the remaining $250 I had on gambling.... 'Wow,' (I said to myself) 'My gambling addiction is WAY more out of control than I even realized'. It turns out that I have an even worse problem with gambling than I do with meth.

Who knew?
Time For A Change? (For Real This Time?)
    It appears that the time for action is (nearly) upon me... I'm going to have to man up, grow a backbone and start pretending like I have at least a little bit of willpower. I just CAN'T continue to live like this. And how am I going to be able to stand up to anyone or anything in my life if I can't start learning to stand up to myself?

Dammit it's time for a change.
Just not tonight....

Change Will Be Good....Sometime Later On...
    I don't know.... I had the most rotten night at work tonight, (I actually cried like a little girl, and I haven't cried at work in YEARS!!) As lame as I know that is to use that as an excuse, I'm going to anyway. I've already spent the little bit of money that I actually made from tips tonight buying myself a little ten sack of speed. The rest of my money is most likely going to go into the slot machines at the bar down the street.

Good News For Once

Money To Spare.... FINALLY!
   So finally I've got some things going for me financially. I just got my tax return today... $859 thank freaking God because I needed it!! I was able to pay back people that I owed money to (including the $65 that I owe my dope guy for fronting me shit a few times over the last week) One of my other house mates and I were finally able to go in and get the internet installed (I've been going NUTS without an internet connection lol) and I was even able to pay next month's rent EARLY! It is such a relief to be financially AHEAD for a change! And although I'm still "misbehaving" I'm at least not in debt and I finally have the money I need to buy myself some stuff for my new room... Like maybe a freaking dresser with drawers that I can put my clothes in instead of having them all strewn about inside my closet.
That's all for now... and on that note, I've got to do a shot. Geez...

Do I Ever Learn?

Aaarg! So here I am again back doing the same old bullshit that I did when I lived in Arizona. The main difference here is that the dope isn't as good. Seriously... I bought a freaking $20 bag off of this guy here who I've been getting it from and I swear to God the shit was freaking wet or something!! I don't know what the hell was going on with that shit. It was all weird and sticking together and shit.
And then there's the Oregon state lottery. Here in Oregon they have all these slot machines inside the bars. So the same games that I used to have to go to an Indian Reservation casino to play in Arizona are legal everywhere here. So naturally I've been blowing all my tips every night playing the stupid machines!!!!

Do I ever learn? Apparently not.....

Still Misbehaving...

Ok... so I've still been fucking up a little bit... not as bad as when I did when I lived in Arizona, but I definitely HAVE been shooting shit again off and on. I WILL say this: Meth in Oregon (Portland at least) fucking SUCKS. That's all I've really got time for right now.

Here's a video I took of me shooting a small shot into one of the veins on my boobs.